


Yiff It Good

by mahwaha



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bathtub Sex, Biting, F/M, Marking, Scratching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:23:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4240611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mahwaha/pseuds/mahwaha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Yiffcaptain Leijon,” Nepeta said, ducking to mouth at his neck. “Reporting for booty.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yiff It Good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MishiTamashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MishiTamashi/gifts).



> Hope it's to your liking, Mishi!

“The fierce _purr_ edator stalks—”

“Not now, NP.” Sollux popped another artificially flavored cheese grub into his mouth and crunched. The keys of his husktop clicked away on their own, _tackatatackatatack_ -ing while he scrutinized the lines of code filling the screen. He looked like a ball of dough on the floor, or maybe a fat little cheese grub. More than that, he looked like he hadn’t moved since Nepeta left; piles of snack wrappers flanking his sides as they spilled and stretched outward, like her matesprit was actually a trash fungus instead of a high-powered psionic. They were supposed to be on _vacation_. This didn’t look like vacation.

“But we’re on vacation,” Nepeta said, kicking an empty bag aside. It stuck to her foot until she shook it off, wrinkling her nose. “That means having _fun_.”

“Turning this code in is my idea of fun. Not having KK blow up another husktop is fun.” Sollux frowned while he sucked cheesy dust from his fingers, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

“Sollux.”

Sollux grunted in response but didn’t spare her a glance. “Thirty minutes, NP.”

Nepeta’s eyes bored into the thicket of his unwashed hair, quackbeast-greasy like he was repelling the idea of a good tongue-bath. His shirt looked stale, like it’d stand up if she stripped it off him. And his skin? Grease pit. Sollux needed a good dunking more than she did back when she was six; just because her own smell was comforting didn’t mean her friends agreed. No, she couldn’t stand for this.

“Kitten,” Nepeta said. She was firm when she butted her toes against the small of Sollux’s back; he straightened his slouch blink-quick, because he knew better. The _tackatatackatatack_ of his keys slowed to _tackatak_ , _atackatack_ , _tackata_. On screen, his code skidded to a halt before her foot skated back to the floor. He was listening. It teased a smile out of her.

“Two minutes. If you’re not in the trap by then,” she said, bumping his back with her legs, “I’ll hunt you down and drag you in by your stinky kitty scruff.”

Beneath her, Sollux stuck out his tongue and wiped his hands on his pants. “Okay, so the bossiness was doing it for me until you called me a stinky kitty. Now I’m just...” He trailed off, leaning his head back to look at her while he tilted his hand to and fro. “Ehh.”

“Two minutes!” Nepeta insisted, planting her hands on her hips. “No complaining. Do you want a pail break or not?”

Needless to say, when she left Sollux met her in the trap. One minute, twenty-two seconds sharp. Water sluiced down the side of the trap, filling the broad basin where Nepeta perched to dip her feet. Her sweats stretched just past the entry, empty. Her shirt pooled on the floor not far after, leaving her long body bare to Sollux’s already fogging glasses. When she twisted to look back at him, Sollux stalled. She stared. He took his glasses off to stare back.

“What?”

And then she told him, “Kittens don’t wear clothes, Sollux.” She wielded that playful, sing-song voice that exasperated Sollux just enough to make him roll his eyes. He let her know exactly what he thought of that while he stripped off his shirt—and judging from her squawk and the snap of psionics, yeah, he could still pinch her glutes without looking.

“What?” He asked again, dropping his pants with a smirk.

Nepeta narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re lucky we’re not pale. I’d pap your glutes yellow _and_ dump you in your coon. After this.” She waved at the trap for good measure, then gestured him over. “Get in, loser.”

“Wow,” Sollux said, ambling over. “Is that how you talk to kittens, NP? I’d say that’s why my self-esteem is fucking shot, but we both know that’s a joke.”

This time Nepeta reached up, catching his lips between her forefinger and thumb while she leaned in to kiss his belly. Still soft. Still chubby. And it still smelled like sweat and old shirt, so she let go of his lips to point him into the tub. “Kittens aren’t allowed to bash themselves, either. ‘Shut your face and let me take care of you’, the mighty huntress insists, and looks at her cute kitty morsel—"

“Okay, okay,” Sollux groaned, throwing his hands up between them. He slid into the climbing water with a sigh and a smile that shouldn’t have been allowed out of the hive. “No more roleplay bullshit. You win.”

“Damn straight,” Nepeta said. Followed by a, “Dang straight. I mean, duh.”

Sollux snorted. She started scooping water up to splash him before it even covered his legs; he flicked drops in her face with psionics. By the time the tub was full enough to wash, Nepeta had slid down to wrestle Sollux with soap coating her hands. 

“Stinky kitty!”

“Oh my god. No.”

“Scruffy toebeans!”

“What the _actual_ fuck!” Sollux splashed and squawked as Nepeta slipped around against his chest, turning to try and seize his feet. When he shoved her she caught one leg. Water flew. A long, reedy wheeze coughed out of Sollux—and it took him a frantic second to realize that he wasn’t choking; he was _laughing_. Nepeta laughed along, even as he kicked in her grip to try and shake loose.

“You’ll never overcome my furry,” Nepeta cried, catching a heel to the shoulder. “My _fury_! Furious furry fury!”

It was, in short, a fucking mess. Until it wasn’t. Then—right about when Nepeta scrambled to catch Sollux’s wrists in the wake of an illegal wave-rinse—it became a hot mess. Sollux sucked down breath after breath, raspy and flushed from exertion. The tip of Nepeta’s bonebulge licked at the crease of his thigh, a twitch or two away from nook. Even though he felt it, Sollux couldn’t look down; he was glued to the predatory gleam in Nepeta’s eye. The corner of her mouth lifted into a smirk and her pupils bloomed wide, black where they reflected his face.

And then she said, “Let’s yiff.”

It would have been way less sexy if she hadn’t leaned in to nip at his jaw. Sollux sighed, snagged between enticed and wanting to facepalm. “Do we have to _yiff_?”

Nepeta paused, lingering. “Mmn...can I yiff you, then?”

“But do I look like some kind of beast-troll to you?” Sollux tried for sardonic; he fell short in sullen.

“Duh. A sexy kitty beast-troll, native to the honeycombs of Lower Middlish Alternia—”

“Oh my god—”

“So can I yiff you?” Nepeta breezed on, unaffected as she leaned back to catch his eye. Her bonebulge kept its lazy lapping at his thigh. 

Sollux bit his lip, all clunky fangs, and wilted. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Nepeta asked, eyes curving. “Just yeah?”

A pause. A staredown. Sollux squirmed before reaching up to wipe water on Nepeta’s cheeks with both hands.

“Yiff my hot butt,” he sighed, resigned. Resigned and a little warm. Endeared, even—the sign of his downfall from when he first let her get away with the furry bullshit. Nepeta beamed.

“Yiffcaptain Leijon,” Nepeta said, ducking to mouth at his neck. “Reporting for booty.” But before Sollux could voice a single complaint, she was sucking the words through his skin. Whatever he’d been aiming for twisted into a chirp, hands moving to grip her shoulders. His bonebulge caught on quick, each tendril from his split coiling down to catch Nepeta’s. Her purr tickled beneath his ear, leaving mustard marks in the wake of her mouth.

“You’re a loser. I can’t believe I’m yiffing a loser.” Sollux groaned, groaned, groaned. His chest was threatening to kickstart in Rumbletown, population Yiffcaptain Leijon and the Purr Patrol. He almost hated her for it as her teeth nipped his pulse. He wanted to kiss her for it as she sucked the lobe of his ear.

“You love yiffing losers,” Nepeta shot back, hips stuttering forward as she braced her hands on the lip of the trap. “You wanna yiff every loser ever.” Her bulge slid between the twine of his, slimy in the water. Sollux choked on a groan while she poured hers over his shoulder. Bit there. Sucked harder. He could feel the pinch of a mark-in-progress.

“Take too long to fuck myself that much,” Sollux managed, jerking when Nepeta’s hands fell to his arms. Her claws stung where they pulled lines.

“Shush and let this loser yiff you.” Butting her cheek to his, Nepeta wormed her hand down to pinch his ass.

“Ow!”

“Good ‘ow’ or bad ‘ow’?”

Sollux frowned, pawing at the side of his neck. Nepeta could see the marks she’d left as she moved back, grin little.

“Try again and I’ll tell you,” he said, and she did. And again when he shrugged, this time on his thigh. Sollux opened his mouth for words but came out all trills when her claws dragged down the inside, leaving angry yellow roads in their wake. “ _Good ow_. Very good ow.”

Nepeta huffed, sounding smug when she dropped closer to kiss him. She was generous with her teeth, less coaxing him open than demanding, and fuck if that didn’t arrow right through his guts like nothing else. Sollux couldn’t decide if he felt more pathetic or aroused, but the insistent push-pull of Nepeta’s lips didn’t leave room for thinking. Neither did the prick of her fangs. She’d torn into wild animals with those teeth and she could—

“Fuck,” Sollux hissed, muffled. His bulges writhed as he tasted blood, clawing at Nepeta’s shoulders in a slipshod effort to pull her closer. She growled into his mouth, lips dragging down his chin before she shoved her face against his neck to start anew.

“Tell me you’re cute,” she said, punctuating it with a bite.

Sollux shuddered. “You’re cute.” He was a hard, jagged chutenugget—the kind that hurt like hell when it came out. Nepeta, in all of her grace, didn’t even dignify that with an answer. Her teeth left his throat in favor of kisses, peppered anywhere she could reach.

“You’re cute,” she pressed to his ear. Then, “you’re the cutest,” snuck into his hair. His nerves were on fire as she kneaded his thighs, pushing them open. “You’re cute n’ sweet and my favorite,” Nepeta announced, toting the gall to do so right to his face. When she licked the dribble of blood from the seam of his lips, Sollux’s breath caught. And when she reached down to pull her bulge from his, to guide it toward his nook with that awful, shitty, saccharine smile on her face...

“Nepeta,” fell right out of his mouth.

“Flushed for you, stinky kitty.” 

Sollux moaned as she pressed into him. Her nails bit just right, and her bulge thickened out until he was stretched wide at her base. Nepeta purred, chest full of thunder as she stooped to lick water from his collar while her bulge thrashed and writhed. It made him feel a little sick, but it was always hard to tell how. With embarrassment? A spike in blood sugar? Shame? Affection?

“Flushed for you too,” Sollux purred back, the sound thin and shy. It made Nepeta rut against him, throwing water from the tub and shoving a sex-saturated sound from his chest. But he moved with her. Ground into it. Keened, needy, and clawed at Nepeta’s back until she started back into biting at the curve of his shoulder. Let her fish between them for his bulges and scratch at the side of his ass and purr so loud that his ears buzzed with it.

When he shuddered under her, drunk on endorphins and the broken sounds from her mouth, Nepeta kept going. And going. And going. Went until his horns crackled with psionics and yellow bled through the tub, then tripped up on a sound that stretched long and high behind her nose when he smeared a kiss on the top of her head. It was a weird fucking feeling, getting shot up with genetic material in the trap. Weird, but not weird enough to prompt him to try and wriggle out when Nepeta sagged against him.

“You’re so soft,” she said, soft after their quiet. Sollux grunted. His scratches stung and he was pretty sure her back was bleeding, too. Nepeta nudged his chin between her horns and laid her smile against the hollow of his neck. “Still a stinky kitty, though.”

“You’re shitty,” Sollux fired back. Then paused. “Not really. Sorry. You’re probably the best matesprit ever for, y’know.”

“Yiffing your hot butt in the trap?” 

There was an out that Sollux latched onto, eager to avoid wrecking the mood. Again. He nodded. Paused again. Cupped water up her back, even if the gesture was kind of nasty in the slurry their trap had become. “This is gross, though.”

Nepeta sighed and sat up in increments, straining back. Sat taller. Strained farther. Sollux waited until she almost had it before popping the plug with his psionics, grinning when she shot him a pout. He really was a chutenugget.

“Buttface.”

“Bulgemunch.”

“Chute destroyer.”

“No, that’s you.” Sollux jostled Nepeta with his legs, watching a grin catch across her face.

“Mm, maybe after we wash fur real,” Nepeta said, trailing off into a yawn as she cuddled against him. The trap continued to drain while Sollux looped his arms around her. “But you should clean your mouth. You still taste like cheese grubs.”

“Better than raw cholerbear,” Sollux huffed.

Nepeta bit back a laugh. “Eat me.”

“Maybe after we wash for real.” It was a good a plan as any. Sollux patted Nepeta’s back, peeking at her face with the threat of a smile. “Then maybe I can finally get some coding done.”

In response, Nepeta threw slurry-water in his face.


End file.
